Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
pop tarts are not kleenex
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
