Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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