I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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