don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
