I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
