The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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