Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
