yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
