I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
