Your face is a jimmy john
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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