it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
