Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
