he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
