so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
