What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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