I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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