she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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