just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
