Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
