He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
