Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
