We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
