I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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