Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
