the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
