OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
