i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
