considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My cat gives me a boner
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
time to smoke my breakfast
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
