Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
