So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
