So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
