he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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