Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
