Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
