we have officially lost it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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