the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
