everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
