some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
