last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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