he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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