Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
