I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
