i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
