i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
