is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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