I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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