Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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