honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
