There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
