so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
