Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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