I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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