i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
