I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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