Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
