An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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